we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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