after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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