His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
