how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
