You're so nebulous sometimes
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
3 2 1 whiskey
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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