I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
True strength comes from lack of pants
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