Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
