I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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