wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Im part way to drunk.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
