he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
