I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Randomize
