Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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