OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
