I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
