i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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