dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
