i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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