Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
