I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
