your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
