i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
vagina is talking i cant
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
