so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
