They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
