I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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