You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
