Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
