i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize