well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
