her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
