man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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