big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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