yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
