my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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