Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
