You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
