did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
