Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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