and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
