After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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