i permit you to call me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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