My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize
