If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
