I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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