She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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