I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize