you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
