Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
