i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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