Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
