So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
