so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
