Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
