Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
