I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
