so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
