Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My pussy is not your playground.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
