dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
