Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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