why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
