Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This baby is an asshole
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
