I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
