It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize