I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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