Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
