can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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