Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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