Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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